Caution tape
by Skovko
Summary: Roman, Seth and Dean have their clothes stolen after going skinny dipping. They have two choices: Go back to town naked or find something to cover up with. While searching through the night, they come across a crime scene. They decide to take a chance with the causion tape. None of them know someone's enjoying the little show from the darkness.


Roman, Seth and Dean were at it again. As typical guy friends always wanting to get one over each other, they took turns challenging each other to silly things. Dean had put out the challenge of them going skinny dipping, and Roman and Seth had agreed as long as it happened at night in the darkness.

So that was what had led them to this moment. All three of them dripping wet as they stood in the cold sand on the moonlit beach, looking at the spot where they had left their clothes. The problem was the clothes were gone. Only their boots were left.

"Where's our clothes?" Seth asked.  
"Someone chose to have a bit of fun," Dean said.  
"I'm not laughing," Roman said.  
"Hello? Can we please have our clothes back?" Seth shouted out in the darkness. "You've had your fun now. It's cold and dark, and we just wanna go home!"

No one answered. There wasn't even a feeling of anybody watching them. Whoever had stolen their clothes was long gone.

"At least they left our boots," Dean said.  
"Oh, joy," Roman said sarcastically.  
"We're finding something to cover up with. I am not running through town naked," Seth said.

They moved through the darkness, jumping behind whatever they could find at the smallest sound. Most of it was paranoia. They weren't close to town yet, and they were scanning everything as they walked by. They had to find something.

"There!" Dean pointed.  
"It's a crime scene," Roman pointed out.  
"Looks abandoned to me," Dean said.  
"We can't cross the caution tape to a crime scene," Seth said.  
"Who said anything about crossing it?" Dean smirked.

He ran towards the house, and Roman and Seth followed behind. Dean started taking down the caution tape and wrapping it around his crotch.

"This is your brilliant plan?" Roman hissed.  
"Would you rather stay naked?" Dean asked.  
"Fuck this!" Roman growled.

He and Seth started covering themselves too.

"You're covering your nipples? Really, Seth?" Dean stared at Seth.  
"It worked for Lady Gaga, didn't it? I figured we could play it off as a fashion statement when we get back to town. People will see us, and we will draw a lot of attention," Seth said.  
"Fashion statement?" Roman chuckled.  
"Yeah, like when I had that blonde streak in my hair. I was chic," Seth said.  
"You looked like a skunk. I still think to this day you should have dressed up as one for Halloween that year. You would have won best costume," Dean said.  
"You don't understand fashion," Seth pouted.  
"And I don't want to if I have to look like that," Dean said.

The men didn't notice the identical twins watching them from the dark. Sedona and Sonya Deville were watching them. They were police officers, and they were on their way back after going through the crime scene when the bizarre turn of events happened.

"You know, if I wasn't a lesbian, I'd probably enjoy this," Sonya said.  
"Admit you enjoy it a little," Sedona grinned.  
"It's three naked asses," Sonya said.  
"Correction. Three hot, naked asses," Sedona said. "Mmm, I just wanna sink my teeth into one of them. Just bite down hard and leave my mark right on the cheek."  
"I never should have let you borrow that book on BDSM," Sonya said. "We should stop them, right? They're committing a crime."  
"They haven't technically entered the crime scene so we can only give them a ticket. Let's just enjoy the last few moments before walking over there," Sedona said.

The men finished their little project, tying up the ends of the tape, hoping it would stay up until they were home.

"Gentlemen!" Sedona walked out into the light.  
"Shit, we're busted!" Seth whined.  
"And what exactly do you think you're doing?" Sonya asked.  
"Someone stole our clothes," Roman answered.  
"So this was your best solution?" Sedona bit her lip to stop herself from laughing.  
"I don't wanna run through town naked. People have camera phones nowadays," Roman said.

The twins looked at each other, and Sonya nodded at Sedona.

"I have to write you a ticket for taking down the caution tape," Sedona said. "Sonya?"  
"Give them a lift home. I'll call Mandy to pick me up, and meanwhile I can put up new tape," Sonya said.  
"Follow me, gentlemen," Sedona said.

They followed her into the darkness where the cop car was waiting. She opened the door to the back seat, and all three of them huddled together.

"You know I have to write a report on this, right?" She looked at them from the front seat.  
"Do you have to take pictures of us like this?" Seth asked.  
"Only for my own amusement," she winked. "Let's get you boys home. Where do you live?"  
"Let's go to my house. You can borrow clothes from me," Dean said.

She drove them to the address Dean had given her. She got out of the car and opened the door to the back seat. They all looked embarrassed.

"Are you gonna get out?" She asked.  
"We're gonna make a run for it any second," Dean chuckled. "But would you like to come up for a cup of coffee?"  
"That would actually be nice. Yes, thank you," she said.  
"You watched us, didn't you?" Seth asked.  
"How much did you see?" Roman asked.  
"Everything," she grinned. "Do you boys wanna know which one of you have the best ass?"

**A/N:**  
**This started as a joke between me and LetsGiveThisOneMoreShot. It started with a dark joke of having Finn chained in a shower over night (don't ask), then moved into stuffing The Shield under the bed (again, don't ask), and then moved into a horrible image of The Shield covered in caution tape Lady Gaga style. And thus the story was born in my head.**


End file.
